Friday, December 26, 2014

everything's good on my end cont.

I always get on here to blog about something specific and I always end up blogging about something else. lol. 
anywho, life is going well for me. finally got out of UofH, I'm working now! making way more money than I actually know what to do with, and the BEST news of all is I'm going to nursing school next year!
Like when I tell ya'll God is good, good is superbbbbbbb.
I still can't believe I got accepted myself. like I'm still in awe, but God has a plan for my life, and I'm just happy that it is in the direction that I enjoy. 
I haven't told many people yet, only the people that matter, and if anyone still reads my blog anymore, I am more than happy to share this news with ya'll too. 
God is good. I can't wait until I'm done so I can give my testimony.. so much has happened in between but God has definitely been showing out in my life. 

everything's good on my end.

I was just thinking.. 
I usually don't make new years resolutions, I'm a very determined person if I want to do something I'll do it. 
but uhmmm, I was thinking about making my new years resolution to cut more people off in my life.
so weird I know! 
especially because I'm actually content with all the relationships in my life right now, and its so negative whenever I "cut people off". (which I'm very notorious for btw) 
someone would have to offend me, or be untrustworthy or unloyal for me to cut them off and of course I dont want anyone to mistreat me.
but once I get over the initial hurt, I always seem to pick myself up, dust myself off and get on with my life.
I can honestly say I never let anything get me down for too long. 
but yea... that was just a thought I had today. lol

Monday, October 13, 2014

straightened my hair and started feeling myself. lol


foodie chronicles: Killen's barbeque

few things to remember about me.

1. I love Jesus.
2. I love Michael Jackson.
3. I love/cant live without/have an affinity for barbeque and applesauce.

Went to this awesome spot in Pearland and got me some brisket with a side of mac&cheese and potato salad yesterday.
Frankly, I'm a potato salad snob, and this passed the test with flying colors. One of the best actually.
The brisket and mac&cheese were really good too.


Friday, October 3, 2014

high chronicles. I dont smoke often but the weed got the best of me this day. lol.





wish I could post some juiciness..

I'm boring now. lol.
I've always been boring though.. just masked with adventurous moments from time to time.
its so funny to me that everyone always thinks I'm out and about, or jet setting somewhere, and I do, quite often... well more than average people my age. 
But to me thats nothing. I wish I could "jet set" for the rest of my life. well atleast the majority of it. lol
but yea, nothings really going on with me. I work. *shocker* 
I work as a scribe in the emergency department at a hospital, it exciting and stressful, but it makes me appreciate doctors and having a healthy life soooooo much more. 
hahaha. one of my co workers told me the co workers like me and speak highly of me. 
And thats great to hear... never really had co workers before, and I've barely even met all of them so thats even better to hear.
Anyway I'm tired... talk to ya'll boys later. POP! Hold it dine.

God is Great!

So I took my entrance exam for nursing school on Wednesday and I did GREAT. 
like even surprised myself how well I did. 
I scored in the top 94% NATIONALLY.
like thats crazy to me cause I've always been "smart" but not like on genius level. 
lololol. no gas but I am just extremely excited.
So now all thats left is to do is apply. 
Been procrastinating with my personal statement but it'll get done. lol
God is good. ya'll pray for me!

Monday, September 22, 2014

It's like when we're together we're together, but we're not together often... But I think about him when we're not. 
I think it's love. i know he feels the same way.. But we're both not ready to take the plunge.   
I don't know what to do. 
I've never really been afraid of rejection but I would be crushed if he rejected me. 
I think I love the kid... He may or may not be the one..

Sunday, August 31, 2014

week in review.

snapchat shenanigans.


MJ's birthday. 

grand opening of the new stadium & first game of the season.
We lost 27-7. -__-

Houston Restaurant Week. 
Aura Brasserie. Best steak I've ever had.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

fail.

was working on a playlist to put on my blog, but then I backspaced and it all went away... -__-
so annoyed, lol. but i'll work on it again another day.
I feel a need to put music on my blog, I feel like ya'll will understand me a little better. 
anddd I think my taste in music is pretty exquisite. I wanna share some of my hidden gems with ya'll!

Sunday, August 24, 2014

speaking of growth..

I have grown so much.
I can see it in myself.
God has humbled me so much. like sooooooooooooo much.
I had no choice but to rely on him and trust in him.
It was hard cause I personally felt that I was in charge of my life.. that I had everything under control.
but nahhhhh, when things are down, you really have nowhere to look but up. (diddy tweeted that. lol)

I don't consider it change, I consider it growth because its an ongoing process..
there's still issues that I struggle with.. still learning to trust people, still stuck on the one that got away, still spending way to much money on material things, still doing whatever I can to make myself happy.
not in a selfish way, but in a why be upset/why struggle/why be in stressful situations kind of way..

Saturday, August 23, 2014

the day beyonce stole my edges.


I'm back!

did ya miss me??
lol... of course you did.

starting a new chapter in my life.
just want to remember this time 50 years from now..
i never read my old blog posts (they make me cringe. lol)
barely even proofread them, but I enjoy blogging and plan to use it as a point of reference for growth.
one day.

p.s. everyone tap your neighbor and say "she's back!" ;)

Sunday, April 20, 2014

The most frustrating part of my life is not being able to talk to anyone when I NEED to talk to someone. 
I had a panic attack today. 
I don't get them often, but my anxiety was building up.
Something didn't go my way and I started panicking, not like my usual, "I always get my way" type of shit either. It was important to me and I kept on getting disappointed today. And I was tired and I was annoyed.. 
I started panicking while I was driving.
I had to talk myself to a calm, (which is very difficult to do while you're having an attack.) 
It took awhile, the longest time it's ever lasted really. 
In the moment I felt so helpless; I was trying to control my breathing, calm myself down, focus on the road, reassure myself that I would find a solution to this. 
I wanted to talk to someone about it, but I don't have anyone to tell. 
No one to understand and sympathize with me. 
I've learned a lot about the world, humanity and myself over these past few years and about just as much that's changed, just as much has stayed the same...
I've learned the hard way not to put all of my eggs in one basket. 
I still don't trust anyone, and I can't confide in anyone.
But it's times like today where that shit bites me in the ass. 
It's frustrating.... it's always scary when I get panic or anxiety attacks, it always means besides the triggering event, there's something deeper that I'm not expressing or a problem I'm trying to avoid.
.... I've forgotten how much I enjoy blogging.
Goodnight. 

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

i remember the first time i fell in love.

...actually I remember my first heartbreak. 
I didn't even realize I was in love until the heartbreak. lol.
I chuckle about it now but it still hurts sometimes. hahaha.
I was in high school... living my life, being carefree..
somehow we found each other.
he taught me things, about the world, about myself, about guys....
then it all came crashing down.
I'm telling you looking back on it I went through a like mini depression.
I couldn't eat, I was quiet, I slept a lot so I didn't have to think about him, my stomach just turned at the thought of him... its crazy.
I never want to experience heartbreak again.
Its an indescribable pain that affected me emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 
like love at one moment can feel so good, like you're on an everlasting cloud 9 and then the next you just want to bury yourself in a hole because everything about you is hurt, your heart, your pride, your feelings, your ego..... 
I don't know how I got through it cause I was so young. 
Everyday, for weeks, it felt like an emotional roller coaster.
even till this day whenever I see him (which is very rarely), I just don't know what to do with myself!
I usually run in the other direction and hide, but then regret it later and wish I had spoke. lmao. real life.
its crazy cause I still I have love for him and hate him a little at the same time.
he broke my little heart.
whenever I think about it, those feelings resurface like it happened yesterday.
I tell everyone I'm over it but really how can you get over your first love?

Monday, March 10, 2014

not that I'm planning to die soon or anything....

but when I do pass, I want to be cremated.
I don't want to be buried. 
I don't know what I want to do with my ashes yet.
but I just know I don't want to be 6 ft under.
and I don't want anyone to cry at my funeral.
I want it to be like an open mic night and I want all my friends to tell funny stories about me and their best experiences with me and all that cool stuff like that.
Like they did at Michael Jackson's funeral.

lol. these are my wishes. I wrote it, its in black and white, I want ya'll boys to respect that!

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2013 picture purge.


I'm not gonna lie, i was drunk in 85% of these videos. hahahahaaa. so embarrasssisnggggg!!!!
Watching this made me wish I had more videos, so thats what I'm gonna do in 2014. Get more of my life on camera.