Tuesday, May 7, 2013

cant sleep...

i have a final tomorrow i should be sleep.
but i cant.. i will eventually, but i wanted to blog this.
i miss someone.. terribly.
its some friends that walk out of your life and youre just cool with it.. its their fault, or ya'll grew apart, or some other circumstances.
and its some situations that i feel, that maybe i shouldve fought harder to save our friendship.. i've only felt that way about a few people though. very few people.
its crazy when a person cares about you much more than you care about yourself, and is willing to accept you for who you are...
its just like our relationship was so easy.. 
even though we were both stubborn and used to argue like crazy, he's just one of those people i felt 100% around. well for the most part.
and i miss having that..
maybe i dont miss him,but i miss how comfortable our friendship was, or having someone hold me down without me even realizing it.
i was young and confused with life.. i still am, but looking back at how i was when i was at 17/18 it baffles me.
i saw him a few days ago, and it really kills me seeing that we were like besties and now whenever we see each other we dont even acknowledge one another.
i mean i feel this way now but whenever i see him, i'm stubborn too and i dont speak, and i just get this bad taste in my mouth. lol.
a lot of shit has transpired between then and now but i know the kind of person he is and he's done......
and i am too. 
but not really cause i miss him. 
i do. i'm a simp.
and i hate myself for feeling this way. but throughout our friendship he showed me that he had my back 100% and i just feel like i cant give up on this.
its been a good 3 years since weve talked though, i wouldnt even know where to begin....
whenever i see old friends it brings back emotions that i have suppressed. its depressing sometimes.
but i have a final tomorrow so good night.

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