Monday, April 22, 2013

my anxiety is at an all time high. 
between all the robbings at UofH and the Boston bombings ive been very paranoid lately.
I was on the verge of having a panic attack today at the hospital.
I volunteer at Memorial Hermann and everytime someone walked in with a bag, or looked in their bag, or just looked suspicious at all I would cringe.
the hospital is always a target for people.
i dont like to talk about my anxiety but its gotten really bad lately.
i'm always on edge and i'm always paranoid.
its annoying but i've got to stay on my toes, we arent safe as we think we are.
its only by God's grace.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Sunday, April 14, 2013

just a rant, just a ramble, just some thoughts....

i dont like people.
i like people, i just like good people.
people who are peaceful, and happy and content with themselves.
people like me. no gas, but I embody all those traits..
but most people arent like that... thats why I dont like people.

i've always wanted a tight knit family.
i've always wanted to be a mother. 

i dont like chris brown.
he's a bad person. he has bad character.
i dont give not one fuck about forgiving and forgetting.
ok, he just popped up on the tv. i dont wanna talk about him. lol.

its crazy how you're so happy, and elated and on cloud 9 when you're in love.
but when the heartbreak comes.. 
i just felt helpless, and then depressed, and then i was never hungry. 
and it just felt like my heart just hurt.
and its like i was too young...i wasnt ready to live through a heartbreak.
all this was a long time ago, but it scares me that its inevitable to happen again.
to anyone, to everyone actually.
that scares me.

right now i'm just coasting.
having fun.
turning up every chance i get.
every chance i get.
i probably turn up a bit more than most.
but what can i say i like to have fun.
going to ATX next weekend.
strictly to turn up. i wish i could move to austin.
i love the city so much.

i still think about my ex sometimes and i'm still gonna marry that kid. 
i'm just waiting for him to come around.

but i'm about to take a nap so yeaaaaaa....