Saturday, December 8, 2012

on being a virgin..

its not that bad.
ok, it kind of is.
sometimes.
i mean, is it so hard to be in an adult relationship without sex being involved??
well the answer is yes!
i mean not for me, but for guys.
no bullshit i'm "talking" to 3 different guys right now and all of them are tryna fuck.
likeeeeee... :/
when i start talking to a guy i usually tell them upfront.
its easier to just get that out the way, cause if i wait to long, things get serious then i'm all hurt and shit.
cuts out all of the bullshit.
half of them dont believe me and along the line try and see how far they can get, and the other half  "respect my decision".
all of them are bullshitters honestly.
its a personal decision for me though.. i mean i do everything else i need to have something i can say no to.
plus i'm too scared to know what Josh would do if he found out. hahahahaaaa. 
he's been telling me he wont come to my wedding or walk me down the aisle if i defiled my body. lmao.
Lol. ya'll dont know my daddy. he's deadass
not like i'd tell him if i did anyway, but God would. 
i told my friend the other day, i guess she didnt know...
not like i was hiding it, everyone just assumed i wasnt cause i always get niggas to buy me stuff.
they automatically think i'm fucking them. haha.

so whenever i used to hear rumors about myself, i just laugh it off, cause honestly, i have nothing to hide.
thats why i'm so proud of myself. no gas, but i can get niggas to do things without even opening my legs, && half these hoes do it for nothing. that shit cracks me up sooooooooo much! lol.
i mean i've had some bad experiences too.
like as soon as i say, "i'm a virgin", they stop texting me! 

that happened like 4 times before! -_-

3/5 of the guys i tell just stop talking to me cold.
And they're usually the ones I really like. 
Truthfully, i mean, ok, i'm a virgin, not a saint. lol.
i've been close a few times, just never had the balls to actually go all the way.
At some point, my brain just goes "no!" and then i'm like "whew that was close.." I've been in some pretty compromising situations, usually when I'm drunk though. Hahahaa. 
Buts it's not gonna happen anytime soon. 

but the single life ain't what it used to be.
Especially cause all my friends are boo'd up. -___-

It's getting harder now, cause I want to be in a relationship but i'll lose my virginity on my terms, i dont want to be guilted, or forced, or pressured..
i want to be in love and shit.. or maybe i'll just wait forever, idk.
cause they really do only want one thing, and when I turn them down, they like to snap on a nigga. Smh.
That's why I don't sweat these dudes, fuckkkk niggas get moneyyyyyy! 

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