Sunday, December 30, 2012

i feel miserable. :'(

Friday, December 28, 2012

i have a crush.

on a boy.
he's not even my type.
he's regular.
nothing really outstanding or special about him.
but for some reason i like him.
he's a nice dude.. i cant explain it. lol.
i was texting nicole yesterday, giving her a hard time cause she has a date.
she told me i was "bitter", and had "bad luck with guys".
hahahaa. i dont think i have bad luck with guys, actually i think i have pretty good luck with guys... well at first.
but i do admit i'm a bit bitter. about a lot of things though...
after the last guy i was talking to.. smh.
i just really gave up on guys.
i'm surprised i have a crush on this guy!
like very surprised.
but shit happens.
its the hormones.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

oh, the irony.

i try not to see the world in black and white..
i try to be open minded..
i try not to be judgemental..
i try to plan everything down to the minute, but i love to take things as they come..
i try to let things be..
i try to make everyone happy.. to an extent.
i try not to see people as their "color" and catagorize them to act stereotypical, or accordingly..
i try to make people like me..
i try to make people like themselves.. who they are as an individual, not what they pretend to be.
i try hard to spread peace and love.. idk if its working or not. lol.
i try.. 

i'm not an alcoholic, but give me two weeks tops, and i'll make sure you'll be one. ; ))

"stay gold ponyboy"

something people dont know about me is i'm a huge movie buff!
i love to watch movies, all types, well except horror movies.
they give me nightmares.
and mysteries too. but every other type of movie, i love to watch.
i'd rather watch a good movie then go out on a saturday night.
thats how real it gets. lol.
i've never met someone who shared my love for movies.
i dont even analyze, or dissect it, i'm not into film like that, i just love to watch and be entertained.
i've noticed that sundance films are usually better than the blockbuster hits.
usually an A list cast, without all the publicity and multimillion dollar budget, of a movie that premiered in a theater.
i just finished watching the outsiders.
its one of my favorite books, but i've never seen the movie till now.
i used to be in ISS (in school suspension) a lot when i was in middle school, so i had wayyyy too much time on my hands, so i read lots of books, and the outsiders was one of the first books i read.
&& i loved it, then in like 8th grade we had it as assigned reading, so i reread it, and analyzed, and annotated and that other bullshit, that i neverrrrr everrrrr used in life.
jk, i do use some of it. i'm actually a pretty good writer.
my blog doesnt count, its meant to be very informal.
i'm rambling... lol.
but anyway, yea i like movies.
so yea, hit me up if you ever need a good movie to watch, i could suggest something. 

Friday, December 21, 2012

bria's in town for a few days, and we've been just living life.
had a girls day today, went shopping, got mini facials, got our make up didddddd. then went to happy hour.
yea, today was a good day.
i told the lady to do my make up to look very natural.
this is what she did. -__-
at first i really didnt like it, i mean its purple eyeshadow for goodness sake, but it grew on me.
and those eyebrows are not illusion, they're all mine!
i got them threaded for the first time yesterday and it hurt like shit, but my eyebrows look a million times betterrrrrrr.
i had to do a double take at myself no joke. lol.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

i like when people vent to me.

it means they trust me.
and that makes me happy.
see i'm a simple girl, doesnt take much to make me happy.
a lot of people have this preconceived notion that i'm high maintenance, or cant relate to them/their problems.
but i'm human, i've made mistakes, i've lived life.. i might look put together, but i'm really a hot mess inside. 
idk why but them trusting me, makes me trust them more.
&& for some odd reason, i feel the need to trust people.
i want to trust people.

ps. i went out with James (my brother) tonight and i actually had fun. lol.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

churros from jack in the box are my kryptonite.
like a i really contemplated, going to jack in the box right now. 
its 12am. -_-
i can turn down lots of fattening food... 
(tryna get fine for allstar weekend! 12 pounds down, 17 more to go!)
but damnnnnn, them churros wanna make a nigga say fuck it!
ok heres what i'll do... i'll get some tomorrow, and do an extra lap and extra sets at the gym.
yep! sounds pretty fair.

Monday, December 17, 2012


got a little bored at my cousin's graduation. 

Sunday, December 16, 2012

I resent when people say I "use" people.

like I resent  it a lot. 
like it really makes me upset.
and I'm thinking to myself, trying to figure out why...
I cant. lol.
and then i was like oh shit maybe its cause i'm manipulative..
maybe this sounds retarded, idk, but i dont feel like manipulation is using someone though.
to me, its more of a challenge, a guilty pleasure, getting someone to do what you want...
that makes me feel good. idk about ya'll.
but "using" someone, smh! such a negative connotation.
thats basically saying, i'm solely benefiting from a person, while they dont realize it.
and i would never do that! ...intentionally.
so one of my really good friends, actually one of the only people in the world i can trust, his mom works at the toyota center, and he's taken me to a couple of Rockets games.
So when i told my brother he got mad, and was like "you just be using people.. blah blah blah.. yadda yadda.."
and it really pissed me off.
like he's my friend, and if i wanna go to rockets' games, and he's willing to take me, then whats the big deal??
not like i ask him to go to every game.
i dont use people.
i would do much more for people than they would do for me, so even if it is considered using, then it would be reciprocal. 
just dont ever say that shit to me. 
cause i'll box you.

UH fall '12 nupes.

pregamed so hard couldnt even make it to the event. smh.
heard it was live, and now actually watching the video, i see it was pretty live. 
probate season is always a good time of the semester.  

Saturday, December 15, 2012

forgot to post this...

happy hour with Awet.
them kona grill margaritas had me wildin' out.
no joke.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

&& people say i always get what i want.

well, i always wanted to get married today... but that didnt happen.
crazy how life works huh??

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

a young trap gode$$. salute me.

D'Corey says i need to take this picture down, because its under false pretenses, cause I look really innocent. 
idk what he means, i'm an angel. lol.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

on being a virgin..

its not that bad.
ok, it kind of is.
i mean, is it so hard to be in an adult relationship without sex being involved??
well the answer is yes!
i mean not for me, but for guys.
no bullshit i'm "talking" to 3 different guys right now and all of them are tryna fuck.
likeeeeee... :/
when i start talking to a guy i usually tell them upfront.
its easier to just get that out the way, cause if i wait to long, things get serious then i'm all hurt and shit.
cuts out all of the bullshit.
half of them dont believe me and along the line try and see how far they can get, and the other half  "respect my decision".
all of them are bullshitters honestly.
its a personal decision for me though.. i mean i do everything else i need to have something i can say no to.
plus i'm too scared to know what Josh would do if he found out. hahahahaaaa. 
he's been telling me he wont come to my wedding or walk me down the aisle if i defiled my body. lmao.
Lol. ya'll dont know my daddy. he's deadass
not like i'd tell him if i did anyway, but God would. 
i told my friend the other day, i guess she didnt know...
not like i was hiding it, everyone just assumed i wasnt cause i always get niggas to buy me stuff.
they automatically think i'm fucking them. haha.

so whenever i used to hear rumors about myself, i just laugh it off, cause honestly, i have nothing to hide.
thats why i'm so proud of myself. no gas, but i can get niggas to do things without even opening my legs, && half these hoes do it for nothing. that shit cracks me up sooooooooo much! lol.
i mean i've had some bad experiences too.
like as soon as i say, "i'm a virgin", they stop texting me! 

that happened like 4 times before! -_-

3/5 of the guys i tell just stop talking to me cold.
And they're usually the ones I really like. 
Truthfully, i mean, ok, i'm a virgin, not a saint. lol.
i've been close a few times, just never had the balls to actually go all the way.
At some point, my brain just goes "no!" and then i'm like "whew that was close.." I've been in some pretty compromising situations, usually when I'm drunk though. Hahahaa. 
Buts it's not gonna happen anytime soon. 

but the single life ain't what it used to be.
Especially cause all my friends are boo'd up. -___-

It's getting harder now, cause I want to be in a relationship but i'll lose my virginity on my terms, i dont want to be guilted, or forced, or pressured..
i want to be in love and shit.. or maybe i'll just wait forever, idk.
cause they really do only want one thing, and when I turn them down, they like to snap on a nigga. Smh.
That's why I don't sweat these dudes, fuckkkk niggas get moneyyyyyy! 

Friday, December 7, 2012

done && done.

2012 Bucketlist.

  • take a roadtrip. (in && out of state)
  • go to atleast 3 concerts. 
  • get into a 21 && up club. 
  • go to a gun range.
  • sleep on a roof.
  • audition for the Real World.
  • get my nipple repeirced.
  • consume weed brownies
  • hide && seek in the stadium.
  • Thursday, December 6, 2012

    Wednesday, December 5, 2012

    Tuesday, December 4, 2012



    austin in 2 weeks.
    no other reason but to turn up.

    Sunday, December 2, 2012

    i still hate men but he can get it once i'm over this phase.

    "3 6 9, damn your fineeee, sucky, sucky, sucky to me baby one more time.."

    i'm still mad.

    only cause i really liked him.
    every time i think about it, it makes my stomach quiver.
    why do i have feelings?!
    ok. maybe that was a little over dramatic but... : /

    like.. i swear i need my own reality show.

    no one understands the shit i go through everyday. 
    always something crazy, && when i try to retell it people think i'm gassing, or over exaggerating,
    but i swear shit like this cant be made up.
    like... i'm so done with boys!
    i'm really ready to throw in the towel. :/
    all guys are the same. 
    no of them are different.
    they all suck ass.
    every last single one of them.
    && here i go thinking, "he's white, he's differrent.."
    well boy was i wronggggggggggggg.
    men are men.
    && natural born assholes.
    ya'll wont believe this shit i went through with this dude last night.
    like i was drunk, but i remember everything..
    ugh.. i dont want to talk about it anymore.
    just know, i'm not fucking with anybody, anymore, white, black, brown, puerto rican or hatian.
    i'm done.