Thursday, August 23, 2012

damnnnn.

i'm reading my old myspace messages, and first i was like "hahhaa this shit is so funny."
then when me and my cousin started messaging... i'm sad. :/
we were so close... like he was kind of my best friend.
i loved him like a bestfriend even though we were family. if that makes sense.
i'm sad now.
like from my messages, it kind of takes me back to that time.. ('07) 
fontane, cody, andranique, prince, jessica r. ... 
all these people i was super cool with.
i can tell i was a happier person back then..
maybe its cause i was young, i mean i'm still kinda young though.
but now everything about me is gaurded.
i have walls up, i havent even realized when they were put into place.
like this is crazyyyy.
is this normal??
someone tell me... is it normal to be so uptight when it comes to trusting people??
i'm genuinely a happy person, i do what i want, i get what i need, i live life...
i'm good in those aspects, but i will admit my one down fall is i cant trust another person to save my life.
its gotten to a point where i withdraw from people i dont feel that i can gain/advance from, which is about 90% of the people i meet.
sounds horrible to say but its true.
i dont want ya'll to think i'm a miserable person, putting up this facade of being happy all the time...
cause thats not the case trust me. i go through highs and lows like everyone else.
i just dont know if not being able to trust other people is normal.. or common.
not that type where you say, "i dont trust anybody" but deep in your heart you know you do have a few people you trust.
i'm talking forreal i have no one i trust.
maybe i'm paranoid... 
i've been through some stuff thats caused me to be this way but i do want to trust people, i sincerely do. 
i just cant. sighhh
ill just finished reading the rest of these messages.

ps. i used to claim prince as my godbrother. (barffffff)
hahahhaa. smh. we were really cool though.

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