Monday, July 30, 2012

updated bucketlist.


2012 Bucketlist.


  • take a roadtrip. (in && out of state)
  • go to atleast 3 concerts. (Gym Class Heroes, Club Paradise, Mali Music, Micah Stampley)
  • get into a 21 && up club. (Venue for the Club Paradise after party && 5th Amendment)
  • go to a gun range.
  • sleep on a roof.
  • audition for the Real World.
  • get my nipple repeirced.
  • consume weed brownies. (some random party with Cary && MarleyFest, i wasnt high either time so it doenst count.)
  • hide && seek in the stadium. (i dont want to do this anymore so... i'm taking it off. lol.)
  • MY FAVORITE MUSIC VIDEO OF ALL TIME!!!

    i feel like a peon.

    i was in my feelings hardcore lastnight. smh.
    not that i mind being in my feelings, i just hate the aftermath! ugh! so embarrassing. 
    ahhhhhhh. lol.
    i snapped out of it real quick though.
    i always suppress my feelings && let them build up.
    so nights like last night, had a little liquor in my system, surrounded by so many folks.
    i was overwhelmed with emotion..
    i was just feeling down && out. 
    i woke up this morning, re lived everything in my head && just laughed.
    like damn. i hate being a female sometimes.  

    Sunday, July 29, 2012

    yea... tonight just played on my insecurities.

    ...i dont want to talk about it.

    30 questions.

    1. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Guys for sureeeeee. they always have your  back no matter what.
    2. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? Yes.
    3. Do you hate anyone? Naw. too much energy.
    4. How’s your heart? i wish i could tell you..
    5. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yea. 
    6. Have you ever cried over a guy? Ahhhhhh. i hate to admit it but yea. hahahha.
    7. Are your toenails painted pink? lmaooo! they actually are.
    8. Will your next kiss be a mistake? I hope not.
    9. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? Sort of. I don’t like to see people cry though. i always end up crying too.
    10. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? Nawwww. i keeps it classy. 
    11. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? other than my parents, Jere.
    12. How do you look right now? My face is still done from church this morning, my hair is messy, from my bed...
    13. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? I feel like i can be myself around everyone though.. i'm a 'hate it or love it' type of person.
    14. Can you commit to one person? Definitely.
    15. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? yea. Mark, Remi, && Jere.
    16. Have you ever felt replaced? Yes. not a great feeling.
    17. Are you a jealous person? Yes. very.
    18. Are relationships ever worth it? Yes. only if they buy you stuff. duhhhhh.
    19. Anyone you’re giving up on? Dami.
    20. Currently wanting to see anyone? nope.
    21. Name something you have to do tomorrow? go to summer school.
    22. Is there someone you will never forget? anyone I've ever made a connection with.
    23. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? i'm not feeling anyone though..
    24. Are you over your past? my past what??
    25. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? FaggBot.
    26. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? No.
    27. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? Yessssssss.
    28. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? -___- thats like one of the most popular names in America.
    29. Who do you have texts from? last 5. Alodie, Meheretab, Noella, Sade && Camiron.
    30. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? Yea.

    Saturday, July 28, 2012

    James.


    a lot of people dont know i have siblings cause i talk about myself a lot. lol.
    but in actuality, i have an older brother, ^James^, && 2 younger sisters Esther && Victoria.

    Thursday, July 26, 2012

    I wish I could major in 'Trophy Wife'.

    i'd graduate super magnum ultraaaaa cum lade.
    i miss JiggaBoo terribly.
    terribly

    Twitter.

    Damn, Twitter is so annoying.
    like annoyingggggggggggg.
    well maybe its just the people i follow.
    like this girl made a tweet about how all nigerians are ugly.
    && everybody on twitter crucified her.
    like killed her, showered her with gasoline && then watched her burn.
    like damnnnnn. 
    its not that crucial. eventhough her opinion is absurd, the way everyone was getting on her was sickening.
    not only Nigerians too! it was akatas, arabs, messicans... like damnnn.
    thats the type of ignorant behavior that i cant associate myself with.
    i used to love twitter, getting on twitter all the time, having public conversations with my friends, knowing damn well we could take it to text, meeting new people... stuff like that.
    now i really loathe twitter && everything it stands for.
    people just say outlandish stuff on twitter && expect others not to judge them for it.
    people put alllll their business on twitter, leaving nothing to the imagination.
    like be mysterious. nobodies gonna want to try && get to know you if they feel they already do.
    especially females. i just feel so sorry for people.
    i try my best to refrain from twitter, i swear ignorance && dumbassness rubs off.
    thats 75% of the crap that people tweet on the daily.
    i'm not tryna think like simple minded, uncultured heathens, who've probably never even traveled outside of the US. 
    gahhhhhh, i do my best to refrain from twitter, but it just so happens like today when i get on && i see such ignorance.
    all the twitter beefs, && exposing people i mean its entertaining for awhile but on a daily basis?? smh. 
    my dad always says "garbage in garbage out".
    like get your money up!!! work on you're future!!! better your life!!!
    ironically, is the less i tweet the more people hit me up to "check up" on me. O_o
    you dont realize how much time && energy is wasted on twitter until you sit back on it for awhile.
    i'm not gonna delete mine solely so people can see how well i'm doing. lol. its the blunt truth.

    Wednesday, July 25, 2012

    i always feel like i know everything about everyone. && i hate that about myself.
    i'm too arrogant for my own good. 

    yesterday with the birthday girl.


    Me+Bria+liquor= goodtimes.

    Sunday, July 22, 2012

    Saturday, July 21, 2012


    Sort of like an interview. Come get an inner view.

    i fucking hate Alvin for making me miss him :'(


    Friday, July 20, 2012

    i really need to stop fucking with Alvin.
    smh.
    like.... i just have to!
    he's soooooo flakey.
    one thing i cant stand is a flakey person.
    i missed out on the Frank Ocean concert in Austin cause of him.
    like.... I'm just so mad, I cant even speak to him.
    I was supposed to go to the concert, then go party with Bria.
    havent seen her since she left Houston, June 1st.
    && he just fucked it up.
    funny thing is she called me today, her birthday's on tuesday && she's coming back to houston to celebrate!
    Man, I love that girl!
    If i had to say one person was my ride or die, it would be her.
    she's always down to go, is always bragging about me, like a genuine down ass friend.
    && we alwaysssssss have a good time together.
    never got to watch my back with her.
    like i'm so excited to 'turn up' for her birthday.
    ....but i'm still pissed I didnt get to see Frank Ocean.

    C'est la Vie.

    are you living or just existing??

    Wednesday, July 18, 2012

    I'm gonna be an auntyyyyy!!!

    when she first told me she was pregnant...

    today we were discussing names...


    its crazy, she's the first one of my close friends to get pregnant.
    as you can see from my reaction, i wasnt having it but now it is what it is.. lol.
    i'm excited, i've already bought him outfits, and planned outings. 
    like i'm so excited. lol.
    she's been my nigga since high school, even though i was initially disappointed, i support her 100%.
    && i'm gonna be the best aunty in the worlddddd. yayyyyy.


    break time at HCC.

    Monday, July 16, 2012

    i dun came dineeeeee.

    my highs my lows, my ups my downs.
    all go on this blog.
    sometimes, i forget that this is on the internet && literally anyone could be reading this.
    it doesnt bother me, but when i really think about it its kinda creepy.
    a total stranger can "know" me && a great deal of events that happened in my life without even once meeting me face to face.
    && for some reason that still doesnt bother me though...
    i write for myself. not to entertain people, or portray a facade.
    its therapeutic for me. 
    very therapeutic actually.
    i just type && keep typing, whatever comes to mind. 
    most of the time i dont even proofread after i'm done.
    i rarely even go back && read my old posts, its like weird for me. 
    when i do i though, i see all these typos, && i'm like "nooooooo, i dont want people to think i'm retarded." lol.
    haha. 
    its about 3am right now. have to be up in 3 hours for summer school.
    arent i lucky?? 

    Saturday, July 14, 2012

    i'm ray charles to the bullshit.




    ohkay not really, i got some new raybans && wanted to put this picture up. hahaha.
    i just thought that title was fitting.
    shoutout to eric! ;)

    been listening to channel orange consistently for 4 days straight now.

    i love it.
    Frank Ocean is really talented.



    Thursday, July 12, 2012

    sometimes i wish i had my old bestfriend back.

    but people change..
    people grow apart.
    its sucks, but its not the end of the world.

    Wednesday, July 11, 2012

    werQ.


    just got home.

    well not really.
    took my babies taiwo && kenny to lunch to lace them up on the college life.
    their going to UT in the fall on an academic scholarship!
    so proud of them.
    i felt like its my duty to put all incoming freshmen on game about college life.
    my freshmen year i had lots of people tell me how it is, show me the ropes, introduce me to plenty of people, all that good stuff.
    they warned me about things to watch out for && not do, people not to mess with..
    i literally did everything i was told not to do my freshmen year.
    its crazy cause even though i heard that stuff from many different outlets, i kind of disregarded it.
    lmao. 
    thats me though, i'm a rebel. 
    but through experience i learned all i need to know && more.. 
    so we went to freebirds && talked to hoursssssss. lol.
    i was happy that i could tell them about my experiences, so they wont make the same mistakes i did.
    a new city, from forceful, nigerian infested alief, houston --> austin where everybody is chill && laid back..
    major culture shock.
    but i think theyll handle it well..
    i'm so full && tired.
    i'm supposed to do my physics homework but i'm bout to knockout. hahhaha.

    random pics in my phone. hahaha.

    Tuesday, July 10, 2012

    bad religion.



    It’s a it’s a bad religion.. To be in love with..Someone who could never love you.. Only bad only bad religion.. Could have me feeling the way I do..

     rap genius's lyric analysis quite on point if you ask me.

    Sunday, July 8, 2012

    i'm just bored outta my mind you dont even know!!!

    bad things always happen when people have too much time on their hands.
    "an idle mind is the devil's playground."
    well thats what they say.
    i dont give 2 fucks.
    like damn a nigga ready to pull her hair out.
    ..... .
    like i'm been keeping to myself so much lately, ive started to get on my own damn nerves.
    like i'm seriously annoyed with myself. lmao.
    this cant be good.
    i'm about to text random people in my phone "hey."
    ...i lied. 
    i hate doing that.
    boys is mad bored right now. damn.
    tried to go thrifing with Cary today.
    all 3 of the thrift stores i planned on going to close on Sundays.
    it was raining my hair got wet.
    now its curly.
    i got summer school tomorrow.
    at stafford, where all the nasty forceful hypebeast ass nigerians be.
    like kill me now.
    man this summer is sucking ass right now. 
    not even gonna front.

    Saturday, July 7, 2012

    && the search begins!

    i want a thug. a light skinned thug.

    i'm home && bored.

    i wanna talk though. 
    to someone!
    i'm so bored....
    && its too late to be texting someone just to talk.
    dont wanna be pegged as "thirsty". or even worse, screenshotted!
    i swear thats like one of my biggest fears. 
    trying to have an innocent conversation with someone && it being screenshotted on twitter or facebook.
    .....i came to realization today that lightskin niggas stay losing. lol.
    i'm mad at myself for even thinking that cause i hate this lightskin vs darksin battle, but i was on wshh && i was just like "damn! lightskin niggas stay losing." I was so serious too. thats the funny part. 
    reading people's ignorant, mediocre, half ass thoughts has negatively influenced me. smh.
    thats why i'm chilling on twitter for awhile.
    i'm taking a lil hiatus. just for me to gather my thoughts, && unfollow people without being charged up.
    lol. i'm so sneaky. i unfollowed a hand full of people, but since they see i havent been tweeting no one called me out, or unfollowed me. hahhahahahhaaa.
    i'm an evil genius. 
    .....anywho, i had a nightmare last night.
    ive been stressing a lot lately. i thinks thats why.
    it was wierd, so much was happening.
    it revealed some insecurities i have. 
    it was just a lot.
    i'm trying to analyze all of it && get to the root of it so i can work on whatever my subconscious is saying to me.
    well try && make it better...it was just sooooooo much going on && it felt so real.
    like where did all these thoughts come from...
    i exaggerated, it was more of an unpleasant dream than a nightmare.
    i just didnt like what i was seeing, well dreaming.


    Friday, July 6, 2012

    Jean.

    pronounced "John".
    he's a Canadian Lebanese boy i met in summer school back in '09.
    he was brilliant, like literally a genius. 
    so aware of everything that was happening in the world, we were in the same grade but it felt like he was years beyond me.
    i used to say "enlighten me Jean." && he'd tell me a fun fact, or a piece of history, or just something interesting i didnt know.
    i always liked him for that. 
    sometimes, i have the urge, i go to one of my friends, && say enlighten me.
    no one ever knows what to say....

    i was listening, i was listening, && listening then i was like this O_O.



    best cover everrrrrrrrrrr.

    Wednesday, July 4, 2012

    Monday, July 2, 2012

    kryptonite.

    passion is my kypronite. 
    being passionate about any && everything.
    oh the woes of being me. :/