Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Battling myself.

I have a BIG ego now. 
It's a problem. 
....it's not for reasons that most people think either. 
not cause of the things I have, or the celebrity experiences, the connects I got. 
none of that stuff really matters to me. 
well except the connects, ive made some great connects.
but like I just care about things like that cause other people are so fascinated by it. i bask in their jealousy. lol. 
I can't explain how my head got so big. I swear it just happened over night... or maybe I just hadn't noticed until recently....
I think it all started when I had the hide && go seek in the stadium freshman year. 
Yea, I'm pretty sure that's it. Even though we didn't actually get to play, it was the mere fact that I got all those people excited enough to come out. 
 The whole experience is still surreal to me. 
I remember everything vividly.
breaking into the stadium with Laura beforehand, the walk there, what I was wearing, running from the laws, everyone chilling after the fact. Just laughing. 
I did that. 
that's the day I knew I was running shit. haven't looked back ever since. 
that's why I have a big ego. cause I know I can make things happen && get things done.
time after time I've proved this to myself && the world. 
I guess it's just reassured overconfidence. Yea, that sounds about right... 
but it really bugs me cause I dont like how it effects other people.
its something i need to work on for sure.
but the first step is admitting you have a problem right??

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