Friday, June 29, 2012

to say i've lost hope in mankind is an understatement.

its just no one is ever real.
everyone disregards each others feelings.
no one cares about common courtesy or human decency anymore.
thats not the way its supposed to be.
i dont wanna live in a society where i cant trust a single soul.
where i have to wonder what everyone's true intentions are.
its life, but its not the kinda life that i wanna live.
so what do i do now??
...i dont know.
i'm just fed up with everyone's pessimistic attitude.
all the backstabbing, && the fakeness.
like i'm 20, i'm grown.
be real with me, be real with who you are.
if i could crawl in a hole, just to hide away from this world i would.
i just cant take all this.
but i cant, i have to stick it out && be strong.... for whatever reason.
now i'm just rambling. lol.
people really just piss me off.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Battling myself.

I have a BIG ego now. 
It's a problem. 
....it's not for reasons that most people think either. 
not cause of the things I have, or the celebrity experiences, the connects I got. 
none of that stuff really matters to me. 
well except the connects, ive made some great connects.
but like I just care about things like that cause other people are so fascinated by it. i bask in their jealousy. lol. 
I can't explain how my head got so big. I swear it just happened over night... or maybe I just hadn't noticed until recently....
I think it all started when I had the hide && go seek in the stadium freshman year. 
Yea, I'm pretty sure that's it. Even though we didn't actually get to play, it was the mere fact that I got all those people excited enough to come out. 
 The whole experience is still surreal to me. 
I remember everything vividly.
breaking into the stadium with Laura beforehand, the walk there, what I was wearing, running from the laws, everyone chilling after the fact. Just laughing. 
I did that. 
that's the day I knew I was running shit. haven't looked back ever since. 
that's why I have a big ego. cause I know I can make things happen && get things done.
time after time I've proved this to myself && the world. 
I guess it's just reassured overconfidence. Yea, that sounds about right... 
but it really bugs me cause I dont like how it effects other people.
its something i need to work on for sure.
but the first step is admitting you have a problem right??

Monday, June 25, 2012

Sunday, June 24, 2012

only cause I'm listening to this song right now && its AMAZINGGGGG.



"we'll see" didnt last long at all. lol. smh.
Allen Stone's cover to Bob Marley's "Is this Love."
honey to my ears.
this song stays on repeat on my laptop.
mmk bye. listen to it.

as you can tell i went on a lil hiatus..

i dont even know why.
it just kinda happened..
&& then i was okay with it.
i dont know if i should start back up again...
cause honestly, i would stunt. 
like hardcore stunt, to a point where people who've never met me would just hate me. lol.
i'm being dead serious right now.
i kinda think thats why i stopped.
so much good things where happening at the same time, it was crazy.
but then again i felt like this "chapter" in my life was over.
hahahha. i dont know why, i just felt like it was.....
i'll probably start again. 
we'll see.

to whomever just left the comment about the ankara wedges.

you flatter me, i didnt know people still visit here! lol
they have some at aldo && urban outfitters. if you google it, you can probably find more.