Sunday, February 6, 2011

betrayed...

thats how i'm feeling right..
a lot of emotions are building up inside of me....
sigh.
nowhere to turn but to my blog.
i'm not perfect nor do i claim to be.
i just wanna be happy.
some may call it selfish, but i call it prioritizing.
making myself first of course.
it feels like recently God has been punishing me, relationship && friendship wise.
i feel like just cause i'm close to you doesnt mean i could trust you.
&& that hurts my heart soooo much!
i could live without a boyfriend but without good friends i feel like i'm alone in the world.
&& it sucks when you think you have good friends but they end up just looking out for themselves.
maybe its just me but i cherish friendships a lot, i'm like the most loyal, trustworthy, ride or die person when it comes to my friends.
i just cant turn it off, even if i try.
i guess i expect more from people.. especially when i keep it 100 24/7.
common courtesy would tell you to not let me "find" things out.
especially with my temper.
but these are my "friends" so i cant go off, i just shut down.
dont like to think, dont like to talk... 
i'm just very frustrated. 
but i couldnt be "one deep" even if i tried! 
situations like this open my eyes && frost my heart.
...its a very sad thing.

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