Monday, December 27, 2010

there's some people in life you just CANT let go.. && there's some you just dont know HOW to let go.

sigh*
this is a reoccurring incident.
got a bad track record with dudes.
i couldnt even tell you what the problem is or where to begin.
but it always happens the same way.. we get super close, then we fall out something serious.
i admit i could be quite aggravating sometimes.. i mean i'm a scorpio. lol.
i'm loud, annoying, stubborn, rude, self centered, spoiled, mean... but they realize these things about me!!
i'm also very loving, caring, loyal && pretty damn funny.
i never really expect things to change once i'm at a happy place in life...
but they always do.. more often than not.
it aint easy for me to let people leave my life.
i guess i feel that they provide me with a certain happiness && when they leave so will that happiness.
OMGGG! i just had a breakthrough. a light bulb just went of in my head.
see i love to blog, i get to vent && analyze myself at the same time.
but anyway.. i seen someone the other day.
made me reminisce when we were at a good place.
something about that kid isnt right though, no matter how many times i reached out to him && no amount of heartfelt apologies would move him.
i always try to figure out if he is the same person i was best friends with, cause his heart aint in the same place.
its been hard for me to give up on him cause... he extended his hand most when i needed it most.
did some very admirable things that was unexpected. i just cant believe that within an exchange of petty words that your feelings could change so quick...
or was it all a lie??
people like him fuck it up for everyone else... 
i havent tried to befriend a male since our friendship ended.
just dont like people always coming in && out of my life cause i get wayyy too attached.
BUT! there's a point to this post..
i found a way to him let it go.. took forever && a day but its done.

2 comments:

  1. weird.. lol we are connected some how! :) i needed to read that believe it or not.
    and its soooo cool to see that you know yourself so well. usually people think they are so different then what they usually are!

    michelle :)

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