this is a reoccurring incident.
got a bad track record with dudes.
i couldnt even tell you what the problem is or where to begin.
but it always happens the same way.. we get super close, then we fall out something serious.
i admit i could be quite aggravating sometimes.. i mean i'm a scorpio. lol.
i'm loud, annoying, stubborn, rude, self centered, spoiled, mean... but they realize these things about me!!
i'm also very loving, caring, loyal && pretty damn funny.
i never really expect things to change once i'm at a happy place in life...
but they always do.. more often than not.
it aint easy for me to let people leave my life.
i guess i feel that they provide me with a certain happiness && when they leave so will that happiness.
OMGGG! i just had a breakthrough. a light bulb just went of in my head.
see i love to blog, i get to vent && analyze myself at the same time.
but anyway.. i seen someone the other day.
made me reminisce when we were at a good place.
something about that kid isnt right though, no matter how many times i reached out to him && no amount of heartfelt apologies would move him.
i always try to figure out if he is the same person i was best friends with, cause his heart aint in the same place.
its been hard for me to give up on him cause... he extended his hand most when i needed it most.
did some very admirable things that was unexpected. i just cant believe that within an exchange of petty words that your feelings could change so quick...
or was it all a lie??
people like him fuck it up for everyone else...
i havent tried to befriend a male since our friendship ended.
just dont like people always coming in && out of my life cause i get wayyy too attached.
BUT! there's a point to this post..
i found a way to him let it go.. took forever && a day but its done.