Saturday, July 3, 2010

today i cried.

i went to church superrrr early today, cause it the first of the month.
it was "command the month" where you pray for the coming month && thank God for the latter one.
had a rough night yesterday.. had a beyondddd pointless fight with 2.
on twitter of all places. smh.
he's lucky i didnt curse him out well well.
but beside that.. have you ever been at church, during praise && worship && just cried??
smh.. the lady that sang was like, "we made it past the benchmark... half of the year is already gone."
and then she started singing this one song.. && i just started crying.
i started thinking about Tobi.
... i feel so guilty.
i get away with wayyyyyy too many things.
if ya'll really knew what went down May 15th && 16th you'd understand.
but no one does.. till this day my parents still dont know.
my life is a mess. . so many things always bring me down.
i cried && cried until a voice, (yes a voice)  popped into my head && said "your tears wont bring him back."
i laughed && i actually cried some more after that.
church is the only place i feel comfortable crying... because i know my tears arent in vain.

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