Wednesday, July 21, 2010

the politics of friendship.

i'm a little hesitant to write this now cause people are gonna believe its directed towards them...
but i dont give a FUCK... i'm gonna say what i gotta say.
i'm talking about myself, my life, my past experiences.

some people just dont understand that there are politics in friendships.
well maybe its just me.
people dont understand that there are certain things you should && shouldnt do.
i mean like... its pretty much common sense.
but i guess common sense is not always so common to everyone.
i just dont get people... its because i hold my "friends" to a higher standard than the rest of the world.
sigh* its very upsetting when you realize your friends are not friends at all.
just someone you occupy your time with.
there's a BIG difference.
i tried to put up that shield...
"me against the world.. one deep.. i dont need anybody.."
but the fact is you do.
everybody needs somebody && if you claim otherwise your a dumbass.
recently i've let my guard down... its seriously not right to punish EVERYONE for what a few many people have done to me.
its hard for me to trust period... when i cant even fuck with my own family like that, what makes you think i'm ready to fuck with the world??
thats why i hold friendships so dear.
i have nobody... no one in this whole world!
it shouldnt be that way... but it is.
&& its not like i try to befriend everyone... trust me i dont.
but when i'm at a vulnerable state && allow you come in my life && treat you with nothing but respect && is ALWAYS 100 with you...
what makes you think that its alright to be disloyal, dishonest, FAKE, needy, shady, clingy, etc.??
i'm just so baffled by the people i've come across in life... smh.
i tend to make the same mistakes over && over && over again, by trusting people.
i guess nobody is to blame but myself.
one day i'll learn to truly not give a damn.
but until then i'll have to fake it.

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