Thursday, May 20, 2010

i cant lie..

my heart is heavy... still full of sorrow.
everyday it gets a little better, but i see something dedicated to you && inside i just break down...
lol. i havent cried since tuesday, but writing this post is making me tear up as we speak.
mannnn, it still so unreal. i'm trying to be strong but my heart is sooo heavy.
still aching for you.
your birthday is tomorrow!!!
you would've been 18. lol.
you looked about 25 though. ahahahha.
as you can see i'm taking your death pretty bad.. smh.
sighhhhh.
its all too much for me, you know??
me && james tried to go the game yesterday.
well we went but couldnt get in!!!
it was SUPERRRRR packed.
we came at like 7:25 && they shut that thing down, wasnt letting no one in.
not even your coach, smh.
but we waited. half of the people that were there didnt even deserve to be there!!!
at the last minute, i snuck in when the police werent looking. lol.
but by time i got in everything was over, they were just doing grace.
but i felt you, in the presence of all your fans, teammates, && friends.
you probably wouldnt even believe how much love everyone showed.
i tried to buy a shirt but they sold out by time i got in! they said they sold all 700 shirts.
i'm still gonna try to get one though.
your friends from Bellaire are doing big things for you.
it even surprised me when i thought about how quick they are putting everything together && grinding tryna get money for your parents.
i wish i had some friends like yours. lol.
you'll always be in my heart... happy early birthday Big Man.
p.s. i'm gonna try && keep it together. i promise.

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